Two Babies on A Plane

From by Simon Rich

The holidays are a busy time, particularly for those people who travel far to see relatives and spend time with friends. Sitting on an airplane can be a frustrating experience, especially when there’s a crying baby on board. Author and comedian Simon Rich wrote this essay imagining the in-flight conversation between two noisy infants seated behind him.

-Wow, that was some nap.

-Tell me about it. It’s almost like I was drugged or something. Hey … what is this place?

-I’ll look out the window. … Oh my God. I think we have a situation.

-What is it? Are we at the doctor’s office?

-No. We’re in the sky.


-We’re just, like, flying through the sky.

-Do Mom and Dad know?

-Clearly not. They’re just reading like everything’s normal. (Looking around) Everybody’s reading.

-How do we warn them?

-With screams.

-Which kind? Soft and whiny or piercing and crazy?

-Let’s go with piercing and crazy.

-It’s not working. They just keep handing me bottles. As if I can eat at a time like this.

-Can you scream any louder?

-No — this is the loudest I can scream.

-Is there any other way to signal to them?

– (Sigh) I guess we could try pooping in our pants. It’s not exactly dignified, but we’re running out of options here.

-All right. On three?

-Sure. One, two, three.

-Well that didn’t work.

-Yeah, they’re just changing us.

-I can’t believe this. We’re hurtling through the sky in a metal tube, and yet we’re the only ones screaming and pooping.

-I guess no one’s looked out the window yet.

-Look at that lady down the aisle. She’s so relaxed she’s about to fall asleep.

-We need to wake her up.

-We need to wake everyone up.

-How much juice do you have left?

-I don’t know. My voice is getting pretty hoarse. I’m pretty exhausted from all the screaming.

-Can you do the pooping thing again?

-I’m not a machine. (Sigh) Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just stressed out.

-I don’t blame you. We’re about to die and no one seems to notice.

-Hey wait a minute … look at that guy sitting in front of us, with the notepad.

-He’s staring right at us.

-He must’ve heard us!

-Well, good. At least we got someone’s attention. [Copyright 2011 National Public Radio]

The revenue generating diaspora


Not sure, but my flight sure has a lot of less than rich looking people, like the Ryanair flight from eastern europe here are the money makers for places with lots of gulf workers like Kerala.

Of course, as soon as the gate opens there’s a rush and crush and everybody queues up as close to each other as they can. Feels like home.

Oh no I shrunk the world pt 13

Sitting in the airport ng for my flight to start boarding, somewhat
amazed that in my hand I have a device that allows me to blog for free
from 80 odd countries (my Kindle). Take that as an excuse for any

Sao Paulo felt like Dilli in the way that it is probably a city you
dont quite get if you just visit and learn to like if you live there.
I had low expectations and enjoyed the small things like roof of
cultural centre, feijaon com arroz and the odd colonial building or
pretty villa. M was less than enthused by the city. In any case it is
curious that meedting somebody you care about in a completely
different context on the other side of the world doesnt seem strange
at all

Behind me two Indian SAP consultants are talking about how far their
hotels were from the beach and how expensive flats are in various
Indian cities. Feels familiar somehow.